To me, this means putting myself first.
Wait. What? That feels icky, right? Shouldn’t it? For most of my life, putting myself first came with a whole baggage full of guilt. Where did this guilt come from anyways? Family expectations? Societal expectations? Cultural expectations?
Shit. I’ve been unpacking and unravelling these expectations for the last 2 years. It’s been messy and oh, so wonderful.
For the first 40 years of my life, I put others first. Always, before me. As a natural-born caregiver, I made a career of taking care of other people! Yes, being a caregiver and a teacher is a noble profession and I likely wouldn’t change anything if I went back to do it all over again. As good as I felt doing it, I burned the F out!
I invite you to go inwards and consider whether you have brought yourself to the point of breakdown for the sake of others. Be really honest.
Hustle or Flow?
We live in a world that rewards us for HUSTLING. We’re taught that have to work hard to see success. What happens once you reach your goals? Well, you’ve got to WORK HARDER because you have to reach the next goal! We end up going on a never-ending chase for achievement that never feels quite ENOUGH.
When I embarked on a journey of personal development 2 years ago, I realized that I did not want a life of Hustle. I wanted a life filled with FLOW. No more 9-5 for this girl. I started to seek out mentors that taught this. I paid attention to what it meant to flow with the universe. Books, seminars, podcasts, I soaked it all in. I still soak it all in!
Slowing Down For Self-Care
Let’s get back to self-care, shall we? Most of you, my clients, you’re women who are really good at HUSTLE. You’re masters of being the Wonder Woman in your life and you feel all kinds of icky guilt at the slightest suggestion of slowing down for yourself.
Like me, you’re craving a change. You’re craving a life that feels more like FLOW and less like hustle. If life feels more in flow, you can feel more in control. Ironic, I know.
It Doesn’t Have To Be Difficult
Here’s what I’ve discovered. Self-care is really easy! It’s easy as long as you tell yourself it’s easy. Don’t worry. Keep saying the words and your brain + heart will catch up.
Giveaway Your Extra Love and Keep The Rest For You
Listen. It’s no one’s responsibility but our own, to fill our love tank. You know what I mean? Let go of any attachment that it’s up to someone else to love you. It’s so much more fulfilling when you learn how to do this for yourself. Then, once your tank is full, anything that overflows is the extra you give away!
Here are 5 easy ways you can start incorporating Self-Care into your life:
- Use the healing energy of crystals to ground yourself into the energy of peace and love. Good ones to start with are Amethyst + Rose Quartz. Amethyst crystals hold a vibrational energy of peace while the Rose Quartz holds the vibrational energy of love.
- Take a bath! We can all carve out 20-30 minutes out of our week to have a muscle-relaxing, soul-soothing bath. Mix a cup (or more) of epsom salts in with a spoonful (or two) of pink Himalayan salt in a mason jar, add a few drops of lavender essential oils into the salt so they absorb, then gently stir the mixture into a nice hot bath. If you want to get really epic with this experience, add some rose petals and even your rose quartz crystal straight into your bath.
- Affirmations! Can I get a F*CK YEAH! I love writing affirmations on post-its and even straight onto my bathroom mirror with a dry erase marker. Just ask my fiancé! Can’t think of any caring words to say to yourself? Here are a few fun suggestions….“I am worthy of loving myself!” “I’m proud of who I am!” “It feels so good to take care of ME.”
- Flowers! Ladies, we don’t have to wait for anyone to buy us flowers. Toss that old expectation out the window. The next time you see a beautiful flower, buy it for YOU, just because! One stem. One bloom. This is all it takes to bring a beautiful reminder to yourself that YOU ARE WORTH IT!
- Gratitude for the little things. Trust me when I say this daily habit will make all the difference in your life! Every day, write down 3, 5, 10 things you are grateful for! It doesn’t have to be big! Or maybe you have EPIC happenings to be grateful for! Celebrate them. Here’s what I’m grateful for today….
- I’m grateful to have access to fresh drinking water.
- I’m grateful for the warm pyjamas I get to sleep in.
- I’m grateful for the array of music in my playlists.
- I’m grateful for the quality time I get to spend with my friends.
- I’m grateful to have a washer and dryer to do my laundry with!
Just like our homes, we all deserve to be loved. Self-love is like decluttering for the soul. Once you start doing this inner decluttering, the spacial decluttering will feel more manageable.