Self-Care isn’t a radical act, it’s a tool for survival.
Start saying yes to you and slamming down that window between one’s self and the influence of others!
All you people pleasers put your hand up! I know you are there and many of you are my clients!
You say yes to your boss even though you lack capacity. You say yes to your kids when they are pushing your last nerve, you say yes to family, friends, your neighbours and even the pizza delivery guy!
For most of you, self care strikes you as a selfish, radical act when in reality it would serve you more than that martyr act you have down to a tee. There is a lot to be said about living with an open heart, seeking adventure and taking the occasional risk but saying NO is rarely celebrated.
So what would it take for you to say NO?
My beloved business coach Lisa van Reeuwyk, challenged me to say NO as a complete sentence when we first started to work together. As a born-again empath, this felt more than a bit icky at first. Little did I know that she was actually reprogramming my ability to say YES to me and start prioritizing myself in my life.
A people pleaser would naturally cringe at this and feel all kinds of GUILT pour into every single cell in their body. They would likely recoil at the thought. But slowly and surely as you start to say YES to you, you magically create more time for yourself to do the things that bring you peace and joy. You have those windows of opportunity to read a magazine in a bubble bath, cuddle up in bed with a book, go for a massage or just indulge in some good old fashioned Netflix escapism.
Another wonderful thing about this process and mind shift is that you will refocus on your space and how it is currently serving you. You will make it a priority to de-clutter and make room for those activities that you like. A sanctuary for painting, a small area for yoga, dancing or even a makeshift art studio.
Saying NO recognizes that we are agents of our own limits. We have control over who and what we let into our lives. This is not a selfish act, it is a SELF-FUL choice and the longer we live this practice, the stronger we become.
So ask yourself this fellow people pleaser survivors, what could become available to you if YOU fill your own love tank for a change?
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